My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
