Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you had me at cake vodka
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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