Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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