holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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