I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize