My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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