I don't usually arrange sex via text message
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and she was petting her beer can
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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