Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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