on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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