why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
