you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
