my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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