my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
