I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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