he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
