pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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