I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
