You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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