I feel like abortions should bother me more
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize