ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
