I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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