can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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