So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
