He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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