I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My bed smells like the plague
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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