Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
