He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
