the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
