I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
