Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
