This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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