summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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