what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
