my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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