My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
