I seem to have left my pride at pride
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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