my soul wont recognize me after tonight
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
