Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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