Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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