she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
