That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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