wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
