There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize