just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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