trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
