Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
