small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
