Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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