Betty ford says i'm here all night
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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