singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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