you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize