i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
