She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize