didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
