how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize