The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
