I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
