your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
