he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Still dying that you shit outside
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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