After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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