Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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