I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize