the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my sisters under your porch take her home
Farmville is her only friend.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
